Dawn of New Era

Well I've just paid for my teacher-librarian application and found another person to ask to be my referee. I'm really applying for this and I'm really hoping I get in. I need a third referee and some more paperwork. Experience is the main thing I lack, but I sure hope my referees and statement of intent can make up for it. Please take some time and pray for this and for me over the next two months and then however long it takes to hear back.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Yay it's my birthday and I'm having an awesome supper with wonderful friends and I'm very excited.

Yesterday was my last day at the yucky job and it was good. I got a card and a lot of them told me to stop by and visit and update them when I get a full-time job and stuff. I look forward to being available to sub full-time - especially since a lot of my calls came on days committed to the other job. I've still only had the 2 subbing days, but it's so close to Christmas I didn't expect any more.

Day 2

I had another day of subbing today :) It was just supposed to be morning, but it ended up being full. I'm still liking the library, but I did have a reminder as to why high school is not for me. Ah well. I already knew that. Hopefully I won't have to take a term at a high school before I get a library that is more my age group.

I have two of my three needed references locked in for the Teacher-Librarian program. I'm not entirely sure who else to ask. They suggest principals, district supervisors, university professors, and anyone with a graduate degree. I have my high school principal and my senior practicum faculty supervisor and they'll be great, but I need a third person. This will require some serious thought and prayer.

An End

I handed in my notice for the yucky job today. I am very excited and very pleased. My boss was a little sad, but very understanding. So now I have to be careful about finances and not allow myself any slacking when it comes to getting my time in at the different libraries and talking with different staff. Looking forward to the plans God has for me.

Another School

Visited another library this afternoon. I reshelved some non-fiction and then spent the rest of the afternoon pulling Christmas books so that they could be displayed together. I had a nice chat with the librarian there and got an idea that may or may not help in getting my masters - needs a lot more thought and fleshing out and research and all that good academic stuff. I gave her one of my new business cards that I made and she said she'd add it to the business cards posted in the staff room. I have a few more libraries to visit, but my goal is to do that by the end of January. I'm thinking that I will quit the yucky job before Christmas so that I can have Christmas holidays and then I'll make sure that I'm in the schools four days a week, even if a good chunk of them are volunteer days - eventually I'll be people's first sub choice (the librarians anyway).

And great news - I finished my quilt top!! I may need to add a border to get the sizing right, but that's easy compared to everything else I did. I'm very pleased with how it looks.

Where have the days gone?

I feel like far too much time has passed for the little I've accomplished. I've been working on my quilt, but I find I get tired rather easily. I haven't had any additional sub days which makes me quite sad. The teacher-librarian program is sounding more tempting, but I think I'd like a few more library days before deciding to make such a huge investment. My plan is to volunteer at some of the other elementary schools and try to shadow my former teacher for a day or two. I need to be educated and make a good decision.

I decided that I wanted to keep my car a while longer, but it's already proving difficult. I had it parked for three hours without plugging in and it very nearly didn't start. Took a lot of tries to get it going. I told work that I'm only doing Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays now - that takes some relief off, but now I have an e-mail saying that they want to talk to me about covering some holidays in December. I'm thinking that my time to decide when to quit there is growing short. I'm not sure she'll accept that I'm only doing those 3 days. Without getting more sub calls I don't feel comfortable quitting, but if I commit to additional days at the job then I won't be available in case I do get called. ~sigh~ It's all so very difficult for me.

First Day Back

I had a really great day. I love being back in the school and hearing the kids. I certainly love books and the library lets me see that there's soooo many I have yet to read - and a lot of them look good. Yes there is checking books in and out and reshelving books, but that's not all a librarian does. Today I missed getting to read stores to the Kindergartens and Grade Ones because they forgot about it, but I worked with some Grade Twos who are in a book club and get to do some projects related to that.

I also worked with a class of Grade Fours and I loved being back in the classroom. I got to help them brainstorm all sorts of questions that they could answer when they start doing their research projects on animals. Choosing between classroom teacher and teacher-librarian may be a really hard choice, but I think it's easier to get full-time work as a librarian. Still not 100% sure that's what I want - I only got a small snapshot. The day was great and I am definitely glad to be a teacher again and can't wait to see what other experiences I'll have.

The Night Before

Well I'm not scared nervous like I used to be, but I'm definitely excited nervous. I want to do this well and I've never done this before. This will be my first time subbing for a librarian. I'm not even sure what they all do. I hope to learn a lot and gain some insight as to whether or not this a good career path for me. I certainly like the idea of being a teacher-librarian, but I have no experience to know if I'll like the reality. Feels good to be going back.

WOOHOO!!!

I'm on the sub list!!! A blog cannot contain my excitement!

I went to the elementary school this afternoon to volunteer in whatever way I could help in the library. I chatted with the librarian, she raved about the Teacher-Librarian program at the U of A, and then she realized she needed a sub so we checked the list and I was on it so she booked me!!!

Add to that, I'm making fabulous progress on a quilt I actually plan to put on my bed asap. I just need to go back for some more fabric. There's some massive fabric sales on this weekend and I am just stoked to blow some (hopefully not too much) money on new project ideas.

I cannot remember a time when I've been this happy and expected it to last. I am feeling God's blessing right now. Sometimes I need the reminder that God is good ALL the time.

Not Gone

Hey all. I'm not gone, just really tired. Working full time at the yucky job just drains me of energy. I still haven't heard about the sub list, but I did get my certification straightened out at the Ministry. I've also been working on rearranging my things, but now I find I need more space for storage ~sigh~.

No Court

Apparently I'm supposed to get a different trial date via the mail. I'd really like to just get this whole thing over with already.

Slacking

Sorry I keep slacking on the blog. I keep having to work a ton at the yucky job and there just doesn't seem to be any energy left to do anything. And there's so much to do: quilting, organizing, rearranging, cleaning, reading, playing, catching up on shows, and probably a whole lot of things that I've forgotten.

I applied for another job. It's always exciting to think about, but I know I don't have much chance and that disappoints me. Hopefully I'll manage to get in a call about my certification this week so that I have an idea of when I'll be on the sub list. I need to get started to build up my experience and such.

Tomorrow is my date in traffic court. This is truly terrifying: all the strangers, a new experience, and I just have no idea what the outcome will be. I'm just trying to prepare myself to accept whatever the judge says, even if it isn't in my favour.

Busy Busy

I don't really think I've been doing all that much but I feel like I'm really busy and have no time to do anything. I have to work extra days at the yucky job this week which sucks. I'm going to Edmonton for the weekend so that's awesome. Still waiting to be officially a teacher again. I'm considering going for my teacher-librarian. but we'll see - need more info.

No New Car

Brought the Mazda to Warman to show my dad and it was too loud when I hit 110. Since I'm hoping to do lots of subbing and that'll probably mean lots of highway time, I need a car that will please me there. I did test drive an '05 Focus hatchback that was a lot quieter. So I feel a little more knowledgeable and hopeful that I can find something with a better price and feel.

I am now anxiously awaiting my renewed teacher certificate since one of the teachers I talked to on Monday asked me to sub this week. I'm simply not allowed until the certificate is renewed. Ah well. Something to look forward to. Maybe next week. Just three days a week will let me quit at Prairie Meats. That doesn't sound like much, but we'll have to wait and see how it goes. ~fingers crossed~

New Car

I hope to buy a new-to-me car tomorrow. I told the guy I want to make a deal and then waved off his price with a 'should be good' - there's other things to negotiate though. We'll see how it goes. It's a 2009 blue Mazda 3 hatchback. original owners bought it from the same dealership and had it serviced there. I need to ask about accidents and whether or not it was out in the hailstorm and if they're original tires - apparently those aren't so good in winter ice.

I got all my paperwork handed in to the division office so I'm just waiting for my renewed teacher certificate and then I can be on the sub list. I visited my old high school on the way and it is so different. It's huge and there's only about 6 staff that are the same. I managed to chat with 4 of them. It's funny though cuz one of the classrooms I passed felt just like my nightmares I had for a while about being a high school student again.

Paperwork

I got a letter from the school division today. It says I have to sign and bring in a whole lot of paperwork, but then they'll put my name on the sub list! I was getting rather discouraged from everything, but maybe it will start to work out. I don't really like subbing because a day is hardly enough time to get to know the students, but I need the experience and maybe I'll hit it off with some schools and get multiple days. I really really hope I get some work. If I can get even 3 days a week it's enough to quit at the yucky job, though I might try to pick up a Saturday shift in town or something. Even better would be if it lead to something more permanent, but I guess I'll leave that to God.

Another Week

I got my Monday off, but I'm full time for the rest of the week. I feel weary. Tomorrow, Mom is picking me up and taking me out to the Berry Barn and I'm really looking forward to it. Plus, she is thinking that maybe we can go to Edmonton soonish. YAY!! Very grateful to have things to look forward to. Wishing that I was looking forward to a new job and life, but I guess those things will have to wait for God's timing.

Surviving

Well I survived my two full time weeks. I'm exhausted and will need another day of recovery. I taught my first Sunday School today. It's new and awkward, but it'll be alright. No new jobs to apply for. That's about all that's up with me.

Decision

Well, three days in a row my car refused to just get me home. I know it's too hot - the car's still okay, the model just doesn't do such hot weather. But it's making pretty clear that I need to decide whether to move and walk, stay and walk, or get a new vehicle. I really want to move, but I can't afford it - I think it would take 2 full time jobs. I don't feel right spending money on a new vehicle either. I feel like I lifted my foot to take the next step only I can't figure out where God wants me to put it down - no way I can stand like that forever. If only I could figure out what to do. I feel lost. Abandoned. I feel like someone turned out the lights and I'm not sure where the hole in the floor is. I need some time and some space, but both of those are in short supply.

Disappointment

Well, the job I wanted most closed on Tuesday and I never heard anything. A christian classroom would have been sooo amazing, even if it wasn't my preferred grade. I haven't even got a response regarding Sunday School. Starting to think they don't want me either. It's discouraging. Meanwhile, I've got 2 full time weeks at a job that I hate - it feels like a prison, there's entirely too much cussing, my desk literally stinks lately, and it feels absolutely meaningless. It also leaves me far too tired to attempt anything in the evenings. I have a quilt that Grandma started that I intend to finish (even if it's not quite her plan). I also have so much cleaning and organizing to do, as well as trying to get something together that can make my application stand out. How some people work 2 full time jobs just to keep a roof over their heads, I'll never know. I just don't have that kind of stamina.

So that's where I'm at this week. Stressed, depressed, and nothing to apply for at the moment.

Another App

Applied for another job just now. Nervousness and excitement are the current feelings. I always imagine what it could be like. It's dangerous because it makes me more disappointed when I don't get an interview/job, but it's also important because it gives me hope, keeps me going, and gets my planning just in case I get my miracle. This job is the first I've applied for in Alberta for a few years, but it would be a Christian classroom and I would just be ecstatic over that. With an asap start, I'll need more than a lot of prayer, both for getting the job and then getting started.

Back to School part deux

Well the kids go back today. I still haven't heard anything. I haven't even had a response about teaching Sunday School. Suddenly wondering if I was following God's whispers or just a whim. I am trying to be positive and at least get some work done in cleaning/purging. Just feels like a bit of a let down.

Back to School

Well today is the day all the teachers go back to school, except me. I didn't even get called for an interview. I know it would've taken a miracle to get a job, but I thought maybe it was my turn for one. There was a sale on Saturday so I've got a good basic wardrobe to get me started. I told my church I'd teach Sunday School. Now I just have to figure out what else I can do to either earn money and/or improve my chances of getting an interview next time. I just don't know what to do.

Waiting...

... it's always the hard part. I know I don't have a very good shot, but I do want this. Unfortunately, I know that one of my references hasn't been called so my chances for an interview are very slim. It's hard to stay motivated while I'm feeling so awful, but school hasn't started yet. There's still hope for health and a job before then. Knowing that I have people who want me to succeed is definitely a blessing and I'm trying not to let the others get me down.

I did it

I filled out the application to the best of my ability and I hit that submit button. The rest is in God's hands. Even if I hear nothing I need to keep a positive attitude and purposely do things that will get me what I need, like teaching Sunday School or kids club or whatever. Getting a job would be totally scary, there's so little time left before the school year starts, but I am so much better equipped then I was the last time I tried this.

Please pray with me.

One Year Later

After spending years retreating within myself I feel that it is time to begin an outward journey. Suddenly I want to get back in the classroom, but with being gone so long I doubt I'll get an interview. Knowing this, I can plan to get back into it. I am going to apply for some jobs (this time around I know not to take anything I'm not ready for). If I don't get anything by the end of the month I'm going to sign up to teach Sunday school - experience and (hopefully) a reference all in one. I'll have to find out if there's any additional volunteer work or anything I can do besides subbing.

It's a daunting thing. I know how hard it is to get started and I know how disinclined I am to such massive efforts. All of the things that I have been aching over while trying to figure out how I want to earn a living are a part of teaching: being a part of something bigger and more important than myself, having children, not being on my feet or sitting all day, and getting to socialize. The more I think about it the more I actually get excited about the prospect. I let myself get discouraged and depressed from not finding a steady job and I quit. I can't let myself do that again.

It's nice to have something to look forward to.