Better Now

I feel a bit better now. My cooking lab went pretty okay. I e-mailed the previous teacher with a few questions, but the students cooked and ate what they made so that's about what I hoped for. I had a chat with the receptionist so I got to learn about the budget and that Grade 9s are naturally horrible. She said the only they listen to is yelling and that's with her daughter in the class. It's not what I wanted to hear, but it does make me feel a bit better about myself. Come Jan 25 I'll only have them twice in a six day cycle so I'm not too concerned. For now - I'm planning Monday and then taking my work home with me to see how much I can do there. I'll be completely happy if I can figure out what's going on up to the end of the semester (aka the next 2 weeks). I also need to take a look further ahead in the classes that aren't ending simply because I want to know where those units are going.

Thanks in advance for your prayers.

Almost Crying

I hate HATE junior high. They suck. I get that what they're doing isn't fun, but I don't have the experience or know-how to do the more fun things. By this age they should be able to relate consequences with their actions. Why don't they get that inability to keep the volume down results in less food labs? I'm totally being the teacher I never wanted to be. I'm yelling and giving so much desk/homework and pop quizzes. I hate not having any experience to draw on. I want to naturally interest the students and 'trick' them into learning. I want it to be a fun experience, but I just don't know what to do. I get that cooking labs are probably best, but without knowing how they work or what the budget is - what hope do I have? I am feeling so discouraged right now that I'm just not sure I can take even 6 months of this. I sure hope this afternoon goes better (although my students came and told me that they normally read during that time... grrr... sure wish someone would fill me in on all this stuff). I'm so tired and all I do is try to plan as best I can and it's all just poop. Can't I just crawl into bed and never come out?

Cooking Lab

I have consented to (and purchased ingredients for) my very first cooking lab as a teacher. I couldn't find any marking guidelines or anything for how the exerience is to be used/directed. I'm really rather frustrated with the lack of information. It's no good having an EA walk into your class and say that a student is supposed to be taken out when you haven't given the homework questions. Fortunately, the EA organizer person took me aside today and let me know who needs stuff modified, who might curl up in the fetal position and refuse to speak to me (more than one actually), and some other behavioural things. Sure would have changed how I dealt with some of those students if I had known beforehand. I get that it's better for a teacher to form a new opinion of students, but you do have to let a teacher know when they need to modify questions or what to do with students who regularly refuse to communicate. Mostly I just feel mediocre. I just don't have the experience to do justice for my students. It will help knowing about the students (although I'm already forgetting which is which). Mostly I just need more time to plan stuff. Good thing tomorrow is Friday. I'm bad though - I have a class tomorrow for which I have not planned (Yikes!). I also want to get Monday's planning done in the morning so that I can use rest of day Friday and all day Saturday for more long-term planning. I'd like to get the rest of the semester planned out (sounds lofty but it's only 11 days after tomorrow). I'd also like to get an eye on what's coming up next semester.

I'm so tired when I get home that I hardly feel like eating, let alone preparing something. I've had KD twice since moving here when I was only planning on having it twice a month - at the most. At least I don't have to worry about going to bed at such a reasonable hour on Friday - I won't be going to school at 7:30 on Saturday. I might pop by to catch some of the basketball tournament and/or plan, but I'd like to do lots of my planning at home. I also want to try to get some time to just relax and remember that I'm still me (if I can remember who that is...)

1 Day Down...

... and so many more to go. Today was a stressful day. I really haven't found my teacher voice with the high schoolers (especially Gr 7-9). I'm really not well-planned. I hadn't even really started stringing together units and today I realized that the regular teacher really hadn't planned the year either. Guess that's what happens when you cover a mat leave. After spending 11 hours at the school day, I do feel prepared for tomorrow. Then there's the rest of the week that needs work. The rest of the month, actually.

The best part of my day was coming home to find that the internet is working :) YAY!! I felt so cut off from the world. I missed logging onto my game, msn, e-mail, everthing. The phone also works, but not the phone I prefer :( For some reason my cordless won't communicate with its base. I'll keep trying to fiddle, but I don't know what would have happened to it. Ah well, at least I brought my back up phone.

Love you all. Please don't stop praying for me.

Just Breathe

Well, in an hour or two I shall be off to Edam with Veritas to stay. I am totally nervous and scared and questioning my sanity. Unfortunately the phone people only go out there once a week, so I won't get phone (and that includes internet) until Monday. Which means no Sunday night/Monday morning post about how terrified I am to begin my first day. I will definitely post when internet is up and let you all know how it went.

For now - here is my house (i live on the right):